Blessed and Highly Favored

I have been noticing that the more content and happy the main areas of my life become some other area will go completely to pot or be a source of aggravation. I don't think that my marriage has ever been this good, despite our ups and downs we've always been solid.But now, we've fallen in love all over again. My children are happy and well adjusted. I am very happy with the current church situation so all the things that count are good. All is well. The stuff that isn't is money, business, relationships with some "friends" I thought I had. My grandparents health isn't good..on and on it goes. In the big scheme these are things that I shouldn't have anxiety over. Money will pass away, the business will be ok or it wont the Lord will provide either way.My grandparents are old, and they are going to go Home and me being in a wad won't stop that. The Devil goes around roaring like a lion and dumb ol' me falls for it sometimes. All that worry distracts me from being thankful for how incredibly blessed I am. A resolution for this year is to not worry , be anxious for nothing.

Interesting experiment for the UPCers

I have really been having this struggle. I think it is fairly common for people who leave the UPC to feel as though everything in their life that goes wrong is because they left the UPC which btw is the ONLY way to heaven (whatever..) Never mind that you've always had problems and the Lord is always just on time.no this time he may not be cause I got some pants on! This destructive thinking sneaks in through the backdoor. No rational logial person would ever admit to thinking this or would even believe it if it were said to them directly. What happens the Pastor says this family or that family left over such and mess and now they are all backslid and heroin addicted. Or "don't leave this church and then call ME when you get in some accident and expect me to come pray for you" on and on this goes until you absorb some of it. I have really been praying about this tendency because its such a negative view of God. What father would allow some castrophe to happen to his child because she wore jeans, or got a trim? How incredibly disproportionate. I find it hard to imagine my Father who loves me being that harsh. So upon much prayer I felt led to read Galatians. NO idea why I'm up at 2 a.m. reading Galatians other than the Lord told me to. So heres what you do if your in bondage to a bunch of standards and legalistic junk. Everywhere in Galatians Paul uses the word "circumcision", "law" or anything like that plug in the word STANDARDS. That'll clear it all up for ya.

I will rejoice and be glad..

We have some hard things happening with our business. I keep fighting these thoughts of if I did this or that right we wouldn't have these problems. I trimmed my hair, put on some jewerly and pants..and now God is withdrawing his hand from us. I KNOW that isn't true. The truth is there is a depression going on and for us to just now be feeling it is amazing. God has brought us through, and he didn't bring us this far to leave us. I have this guilt, doubt cycle a tape that plays in my head and makes me doubt myself. I have to have faith that we're going to come through this and I can't have the enemy sneaking in and making me doubt the security we have in Jesus. I have this song stuck in my head..Then you filled me, then you healed me then you washed my sins away and I will be glad...
Can't for the life of me remember who sings that

I bought a pair of jeans today

silly that would be some sort of milestone,but it really feels like one.

Little Hitler

I ran into someone the other day who told me that her family had been kicked out of our old church. I have never heard of anyone actually being asked to leave I was flabbergasted. This persons mother has been there longer than the pastor...well over thirty years. She was head of the deaf ministery. Her husband the best drummer ever and they both sang in the choir. They have a 15 year old son. A real big bruiser of a boy, and the sweetest most sincere God seeking boy I have ever seen. It seems to me that most boys don't really seek God until they are older..with children of their own even. But this kid is the real genuine deal. Well, every football coach in the county wanted him on their team..I mean the kid is a Goliath. This could very well pay for his education so he is all signed and suited up and playing highschool ball. The pastor apparently went to them and said the UPCI doesn't condone worldly amusements and the boy shouldn't play. They didn't cow. He preached from the pulpit against football ,he was unkind and it embarassed them terribly. But they didn't cow to him. He went to them and said they weren't paying enough tithes, but they refused to pay more. Then he took their ministeries. Out of the choir, took the deaf ministery off the website. How insane! This woman is an intrepreter for a living, he is willing to loose is ability to minister to the deaf because these folks let their boy play ball? No, its because they wouldn't be bullied. I applaud them and their strength. I am praying for their son. How horrible! Imagine your this 6 ft3 285 lb 15 year old with hands like hams...I mean whats he gonna do be a brain surgeon? Not with those big ol' hands. He wants to play..he was BORN to play ball lol. If he wants to be a surgeon, well ball will pay for the education. He's good, he's fast. You'll be seeing him on t.v. trust me. Then imagine your being told from the pulpit that your gonna go to hell for it! The friends you've always had, their parents won't let them hang with you because you aren't holy enough? The guilt of your family leaving church..not the sister btw she's still there. The pain of losing your place in the world, and the concern that you've backslid the whole family. That kid has to be a hot mess. But thats better than being the same kid and being told "Hey I know you love it but Bro. Webb says no ball, so we're takin you out" The insanity of that. This poor sister, who is still singing in that same choir. Shes 20. She feels like by going to the Assembly of God church her family is backslid..shes indoctrinated to believe that. But they don't look backslid..they look like they are closer to God than ever. Shes very confused. She believes that if they are goin' to hell she isn't going too. Its sad and its conflicting and its seperating that family. My heart breaks for the. The shunning that goes with leaving is terrible. You find yourself very alone, if all your friends are there. I am sure this mother has outside friends..I know some of them. But her children had very few. Its very sad and I know how alone they feel.
That man is running a dictatorship . He is using that pulpit like its a throne and I am amazed that so man people are taking it. How insane! He has elevated himself to the place of God. I really truely believe that he is suffering from a mental problem because he sure hasn't always been this way. I'm going to pray that if thats the case somebody catches on and he can be helped.

I am Jacks complete lack of anything to say

I have not abandoned blogging. I have been spending alot of time in my head though. Blogging is kinda like eating right or getting enough sleep. I have to force myself to do it, but I feel lots better afterward. It is cathartic. I sent two of the kiddos and Honey off to music lessons and that just leaves me and the kid who is happy to watch t.v. so I thought I'd sneak in here and have some profoundness proceed outta my mouth. Alas not. I think I will go mop the floors instead, another thing I hate..but always like the way it feels afterward.